Let us create a 3D eBook for you!
Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com

 

Dealing with Difficult People


1. Don't get Hooked !!!

When people behave towards you in a manner that makes youfeel angry, frustrated or annoyed - this is known as a Hook.

We can even become "Hooked" by the way people look, how theytalk, how they smell and even by their general demeanour.

If we take the bait then we are allowing the other person tocontrol our behaviour. This can then result in anunproductive response.

We have a choice whether we decided to get hooked or stayunhooked.

2. Don't let them get to you.

We often allow the other persons attitude to irritate orannoy us. This becomes obvious to the other person throughour tone of voice and our body language. This only fuels adifficult situation.

When dealing with difficult people, stay out of itemotionally and concentrate on listening non-defensively andactively. People may make disparaging and emotional remarks- don't rise to the bait!

3. Listen - listen - listen

Look and sound like you're listening. - When face-to-faceyou need to look interested, nod your head and keep good eyecontact. Over the 'phone - you need to make the occasional"Uh Hu - I See"

If the other person senses that you care and that you'reinterested in their problem, then they're likely to becomemore reasonable.

4. Get all the facts - write them down.

Repeat back (paraphrase) the problem to ensure yourunderstanding and to let the other person know that you arelistening.

5. Use names

A persons name is one of the warmest sounds they hear. Itsays that you have recognised them as an individual. It is important not to overdo it as it may come across aspatronising to the other person.Make sure they know your name and that you'll take ownershipfor the problem.

6. DON'T blame someone or something else.

7. Watch out for people's egos

" Don't interrupt

" Don't argue

" Don't jump in with solutions

" Allow them to let off steam

" Don't say, "Calm down".

8. See it from the other person's point of view

Too often we think the "difficult" person is making too muchfuss. We think - "What's the big deal; I'll fix it rightaway". It is a big deal for the other person and they wantyou to appreciate it.

You don't necessarily need to agree with the person howeveryou accept the fact that it's a problem for them.

9. Be very aware of your body language and tone of voice

We often exacerbate a situation without realising it. Ourtone of voice and our body language can often contradictwhat we're saying. We may be saying sorry however our toneand our body language may be communicating our frustrationand annoyance. People listen with their eyes and will setgreater credence on how you say something rather than whatyou say.

It's also important to use a warm tone of voice when dealingwith a difficult situation. This doesn't mean being "nicey-nicey" or behaving in a non-assertive manner.

10. Words to avoid

There are certain trigger words that can cause people tobecome more difficult especially in emotionally chargedsituations. These include:

"You have to" -

"But" -

"I want you to" -

"I need you to" -

"It's company policy" -

"I can't or You can't" -

"Jargon" or "Buzz" words -

"Sorry" -

"I'll try" -

11. Stop saying Sorry

Sorry is an overused word, everyone says it when somethinggoes wrong and it has lost its value.

How often have you heard - "Sorry 'bout that, give me thedetails and I'll sort this out for you." Far better to say -"I apologise for ?."

And if you really need to use the "sorry" word, make sure toinclude it as part of a full sentence. "I'm sorry youhaven't received that information as promised Mr Smith."(Again, it's good practise to use the person's name).

There are other things you can say instead of sorry -

12. Empathise

The important thing to realise when dealing with a difficultperson is to:

Deal with their feelings - then deal with their problem.

Using empathy is an effective way to deal with a person'sfeelings. Empathy isn't about agreement, only acceptance ofwhat the person is saying and feeling. Basically the messageis - "I understand how you feel."

Obviously this has to be a genuine response, the person willrealise if you're insincere and they'll feel patronised.

Examples of an empathy response would be - "I can understandthat you're angry," or "I see what you mean." Again, theseresponses need to be genuine.

13. Build Rapport

Sometimes it's useful to add another phrase to the empathyresponse, including yourself in the picture. - "I canunderstand how you feel, I don't like it either when thathappens to me" This has the effect of getting on the otherpersons side and builds rapport.

Some people get concerned when using this response, as theybelieve it'll lead to "Well why don't you do something aboutit then."The majority of people won't respond this way if theyrealise that you are a reasonable and caring person. If theydo, then continue empathising and tell the person whatyou'll do about the situation.

14. Under promise - over deliver

Whatever you say to resolve a situation, don't make a rodfor your own back. We are often tempted in a difficultsituation to make promises that are difficult to keep. Wesay things like - "I'll get this sorted this afternoon andphone you back." It may be difficult to get it sorted "thisafternoon". Far better to say - "I'll get this sorted bytomorrow lunchtime." Then phone them back that afternoon orearly the next morning and they'll think you're great.

You don't win them all

Remember, everyone gets a little mad from time to time, andyou won't always be able to placate everyone, - there's nomagic formula. However, the majority of people in this worldare reasonable people and if you treat them as such, thenthey're more likely to respond in a positive manner.

Some more thoughts

These notes are primarily designed to help deal withdifficult people when we have made a mistake. We often haveto deal with other people where we have not made a mistakehowever the people we're dealing with often prove to bedifficult and unwilling to accept what we say.

We therefore need to demonstrate assertive behaviour thathelps us communicate clearly and confidently our needs,wants and feelings to other people without abusing in anyway their human rights.

Some books to read

A Woman in Your Own Right - Anne Dickson

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway - Susan Jeffers

Irresistibility - Philippa Davis

Why Men don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps - Allan & Barbara Pease

Alan Fairweather is the author of four ebooks in the "Howto get More Sales" series. Lots of practical actions youcan take to build your business and motivate your team.-http://www.howtogetmoresales.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Customer Service - Google News

Capital One Recognized by J.D. Power and Associates for Outstanding Customer ... - EON: Enhanced Online News (press release)


Capital One Recognized by J.D. Power and Associates for Outstanding Customer ...
EON: Enhanced Online News (press release)
(EON: Enhanced Online News)--Capital One (NYSE:COF) has been recognized by JD Power and Associates for outstanding customer service across its Retail Banking, US Card and Small Business Card call centers. The call centers received certification by ...
Capital One Call Centers Recognized for ExcellenceMMD Newswire (press release)

all 10 news articles »

Frustrated With Virtual Customer Service? Microsoft Tries to Help - Wall Street Journal (blog)


Frustrated With Virtual Customer Service? Microsoft Tries to Help
Wall Street Journal (blog)
By Deborah Gage People who are forced to engage in online chats with virtual customer service agents–or who are passed from agent to agent without getting their problems solved–are likely to get highly frustrated and take their business elsewhere.
Microsoft Teams up With 24/7 for Customer Service SoftwarePCWorld
Microsoft Teams Up with 24/7 on Customer Service SoftwareDestination CRM
Microsoft reaches agreement with 24/7 on speech-driven customer-service platformThe Seattle Times
Fox Business
all 47 news articles »

Bernthal, The Way It Oughta Be: Customer Service - KPLR 11


Bernthal, The Way It Oughta Be: Customer Service
KPLR 11
If you can build some customer service skills I think you will stand out among your peers. Sure it's no law school or medical school but what this country really needs is some good customer service. Here was my recent experience.

and more »

Alcatel-Lucent banks on customer service - Communications, Engineering & Design Magazine


Siliconrepublic.com

Alcatel-Lucent banks on customer service
Communications, Engineering & Design Magazine
The French company is using software acquired through its 2008 purchase of customer service specialist Motive to boost the capabilities of some of its existing products, Greg Owens, director of customer experience solutions marketing, ...
ALU revamps tools to enhance customer experienceRethink Wireless
Alcatel-Lucent Makes Its Customer Experience Management Motive ClearSacramento Bee
Alcatel-Lucent extends 'Motive' brandBroadband TV News
Telecoms.com
all 49 news articles »

Telcos pledge improved customer service, but regulation looms - iTWire


Telcos pledge improved customer service, but regulation looms
iTWire
The telecomms industry has made its last bid to escape regulation of its customer service practices by the ACMA, with the submission of a revised Telecommunications Consumer Protection Code to the ACMA for registration. In November last year the ACMA ...
Action group rejects telco industry codeThe Australian
Full Spectrum: getting tough on telcosZDNet Australia

all 18 news articles »

Customer Service satisfaction survey figures down in 2011 - Reno Gazette Journal


Customer Service satisfaction survey figures down in 2011
Reno Gazette Journal
FERNLEY--After compiling the most recent Customer Satisfaction Survey results from area residents, City of Fernley staff attributed the resulting low satisfaction results to the City Council's passage of the debt bond assessment, which was designed to ...

Microsoft and 24/7 Inc. team up to build a better automated customer service ... - BetaNews


BetaNews

Microsoft and 24/7 Inc. team up to build a better automated customer service ...
BetaNews
Microsoft and 24/7 Inc. have joined up to develop a next-gen automated customer service platform that pairs big data analytics with touch, speech, and gesture interfaces for a more mobile-friendly self-service customer experience.
Microsoft Unveils Microsoft Dynamics CRM MobileMobile Enterprise
Dynamics CRM Going Fully Mobile with Update from MicrosoftNewsFactor Network

all 118 news articles »

Interbit Data Expands Sales and Customer Support Teams for Its Healthcare ... - MarketWatch (press release)


Interbit Data Expands Sales and Customer Support Teams for Its Healthcare ...
MarketWatch (press release)
Joining Interbit Data as customer support specialist is Reiko Foster. Reiko comes from IntraLearn Software Corporation, where she provided customer technical support and training for nine years. Reiko has extensive experience in software sales support, ...

and more »

Playworld Systems Launches PlayPod(TM), a 24/7 Mobile Customer Support Tool - MarketWatch (press release)


Playworld Systems Launches PlayPod(TM), a 24/7 Mobile Customer Support Tool
MarketWatch (press release)
It provides instant access to individualized installation and maintenance data and customer service links as well as fun play tips. PlayPod is a value-added service that works when users download the free Tag mobile app to a smartphone at ...

and more »

Office Depot Named as Finalist in Stevie(R) Awards for Sales & Customer Service - MarketWatch (press release)


Office Depot Named as Finalist in Stevie(R) Awards for Sales & Customer Service
MarketWatch (press release)
The international competition recognizes excellence in disciplines that are crucial to business success, and honors the accomplishments of sales, customer service, and call/contact center professionals worldwide. -- Sales Support Team of the Year: An ...
B2B Marketing Leader, Televerde, Executive to Judge National Business Awards ...San Francisco Chronicle (press release)
OFFICE DEPOT, INC.: Office Depot Named as Finalist in Stevie(R) Awards for..4-traders (press release)

all 16 news articles »

Click here for Best Buy In-Store Pickup

StreetSideAuto.com

Looking For Royalty Free Photos for your Website, Business or Advertising?

My Life Through The Lens

AusTrade Domain Is For Sale - $15,000 For Enquiries eMail Us

© www.AusTrade.biz 2011

home | site map | links

eXTReMe Tracker